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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  February 18, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am PST

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one we lost because of sickness. so gloria walks barra, because he doesn't care for me. [ laughter ] >> what do you mean he doesn't care for you. >> well, he doesn't understand me holding the leash, so i go along just for the walk. [ laughter ] >> could it be you are talking a little slowly to the dog, and maybe he -- by the time you say, um -- um -- um, come here, the dog -- the dog is gone? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> i never thought of that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i -- i'll ask him about it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> ask him-- ask him. he may be confused. no, i -- i -- the poem you are going to do for us tonight from the book is one you did here on
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some years ago called beau, right? the day after you did that poem on the air, i think for the next three or four days in our offices at the tonight show, the phone did not stop ringing. everybody in the country wanted a copy of that poem. and i understand you are going to do that one from the book tonight, right? >> yeah. >> do you want to use the book or do you know it -- >> well, i -- i -- where are my specks? i -- i -- i may -- let's see. [ laughter ] let -- let's see. you never -- you never came to me when i would call unless i had a tennis ball, or -- or he felt like it, but mostly he didn't come at all. when he was young he never learned to heel or sit or stay. he did things his way. discipline was not his bag. but when you were with him
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[ laughter ] uh, didn't drag. [ laughter ] >> yeah-yeah-yeah. >> he -- he's dig up a rosebush just to -- to spite me, and when i would grab him he would turn and bite me. he bit lots of folks from day-to-day, the delivery boy was his favorite prey. [ laughter ] the gas man wouldn't read our meter, he said he had a true man eat-er. [ laughter ] and he set the house on fire, but the story is long to tell. suffice to say that he survived and the house survived as well. on evening walks gloria took him, and they were always first out the door, the old one, you know,
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[ laughter ] we brought up the rear because our bones were sore, and he would charge up the street with gloria hanging on, what a beautiful pair they were and if it was still light and the tourists were out, they created a bit of a stir. but every once in a while he would stop in his tracks and with a frown on his face look arrange, it was just to make sure that the old one was there to follow him where he was bound. we're early to bedders in our house, i guess i'm the first to retire, and when i get up and cross the room, he looks up from me and gets up from his place by the fire. he knew where the tennis balls were upstairs, and i would give him one for a while. he would nudge it under the bed with his nose, and i would dig it out with a smile.
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tire of the ball and was asleep in the corner in no time at all. and there were nights when i'd feel him climb upon our bed, and lie between us, and i would pat his head. and there were nights when i'd feel this stare and i would wake up and he would be sitting there. and i would reach out my hand to stroke his hair, and sometimes i'd feel him sigh, and i think i know the reason why. he -- he'd wake up at night, and he would have this fear of -- of the dark, of life, of anything, and he -- he would be glad to
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and there are nights when i think i feel him climb upon our bed, and lie between us, and i would pat his head, and there are nights when i think i feel him stare, and i reach out my hand to stroke his hair, but he -- he's not there. oh, how i wish that wasn't so. i'll always love a dog named beau. [ applause ] >> thank you. i'm glad you did that again. [ applause ] now, that's wonderful. it's a charming book. [ applause ] it is a -- thank you jim. i'm glad you did that. that is a charming book.
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and his poems." by, who else, jimmy stewart. i thank you for coming again tonight. it's always a great pleasure. >> well, it's wonderful, and thank you, again, johnny. you started this with me. and gave me the chance. >> well, you can just send me some of the royalties. thank you, jim. [ cheers and applause ] [ music ] he knows how to read lines, doesn't he. wow. >> wow. >> anything happening? oh, all righty. [ laughter ] what? oh, yes. scared me there, i thought the snake was loose already. [ laughter ] some -- some creature is loose here. we'll take a break, and
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ music ]
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jim fowler has been here many times. [ cheers and applause ] >> jim fowler is the host of mutual of omaha wild kingdom television series. tomorrow, he'll be appearing at the feast of the beast. a benefit for the boise, idaho zoo. would you welcome mr. jim fowler. [ applause ] [ music ] starting off small, huh? >> that's right. this is kind of -- i know you don't like me to bring things out in sacks or boxes -- >> well, you never know. >> you know after jimmy stewart, a guy who obviously respects all forms of life, in a way i hate to show some of these creatures that we have tonight, because they are not necessarily the most attractive members of the animal group. >> not everything can be bambi. >> i'm gonna start off with this one then. we have some paper towels back there. because you might want to help me wipe this off. let me show you-- this is one of the strangest creatures i have ever seen.
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a factory second turtle? >> could you get a towel back there? i wanna wipe him off. i wouldn't want to hurt that desk. it's such a nice cover on the desk there. >> that's the weirdest turtle i've ever seen in my life. >> we're going to show several turtles tonight. and one of the things i wanna tell you about this one. it's called a mata mata. in south america. it lives in the amazon rain forest. >> doesn't that have to do with kill-- mata? >> it means kill-kill. very superstitious. but the thing is, it is what you call a side-neck turtle. the neck comes out of the shell like this. and it catches fish and also it is camouflaged. so that the head looks like a leaf. >> yeah, it does. >> and this is one of >> where are the eyes on this turtle? >> well, they are very-very far forward. can you see right there? >> oh, yeah-yeah. >> and that little snorkel is the thing it breathes with but you can put your hand right there -- >> no-no-no. no, you can put your hand there, jim. >> well, it has no-- i have
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missing, but it has no teeth. the way it catches fish is to inhale the water. sucks it in like a vacuum sweeper. >> what-- through the mouth? >> right through the mouth and the fish go in with the water and then it expels it. >> it's not a very attractive turtle, is it? >> it's not very attractive. but we on mutual of omaha's wild kingdom, we filmed a lot of these. they are very superstitious about them. we put them down there. >> now, is there a turtle in that box. >> yeah, we got one to really show you, john. >> i don't believe this is a turtle, folks. somebody wanted me to put this box up here, right? >> if you will put the box up -- >> oh, my god. >> wow! >> we have got some word records here tonight. and ed you may have to keep this box from moving because this is not easy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] better put that coffee over
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[ laughter ] i didn't want to have to bench press this. >> what the hell is this? >> this is -- [ laughter ] this is one of the largest turtles in the -- fresh water turtles in our country. it's called the alligator snapping turtle. >> in this country? >> in this country. this is the thing you sometimes go swimming with in the southeast, throughout north florida and georgia. but there are some fascinating things about it. let me see if i can get him to open his mouth up. and johnny if you'll get that celery over there on the table. [ laughter ] >> get outta here! >> no, there is a stick back here. you get that stick, okay? because i want you to help me show you something here -- don't get too close, now, look, the thing i want to show you, it has a fishing lure under the tongue. if you put that celery in there, lift the tongue up,
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whoops-- there we go. [ laughter ] >> let me go open his mouth. we're not-- [ laughter ] >> i wouldn't like to be skinny dipping in the nude with this one. [ laughter ] >> what we want to do -- see if you can get that tongue up because it's fascinating to see. >> i'm doing by best here. >> you are going great. i see you got a long piece of celery there. that's okay. just touch the tongue. that's right. well, i don't want to -- even a turtle like this, i don't want to stress it. i think we have made our point with it. >> okay, i think you have. [ laughter ] >> this is when it pays to have -- >> okay. we're going to get rid of that.
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ music ] >> we're back with jim fowler. now before we get to the big one -- before we get to what we call the top of the line snake tonight -- >> we have an example of another creature. >> you carry him with you? >> it's probably the safest way. you can always get a seat on the subway if you carry one -- but this is a python. >> your dry cleaners must have a great time. >> this is right out of the egg. i wanted to show you. >> this is a python -- >> this is a python and one of the most incredible stories-- >> i love reptiles. >> i wouldn't hold it too close to the head, because when they are young like this, they bite more rapidly than they do when they are big. >> okay-- enough said. [ laughter ] >> but one of the most incredible stories is the story of a python that was found under a house in fort lauderdale. that's been on the news lately. we have a film clip of that. >> let's show the film clip. we got it from wtvj,
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watch this. >> nobody knew this snake was living in fort lauderdale. >> apparently, this was released as a pet some years ago. this had been living under a house, i guess nobody knows for sure how long, right? >> it could have been 12 to 15 years. >> was this house occupied? >> it was occupied by a family. the kids had told the adults that they had seen this thing occasionally, and nobody believed them. so todd hardwig from a group called pesky critters were called to go in and catch the snake. so, we thought of all the places we should show a big snake, it would be your show. >> now you are going to see this snake live. >> we have got to -- >> what is this we stuff? [ laughter ] >> well, this may be a world record. it has never been measured properly. >> we're going to measure it tonight, folks. >> and if you don't mind helping. >> i can dthat.
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than the snake, right? >> this is todd hardwig from pesky critters. >> you dug this thing out from under the house? >> todd's the one that went in and got it. >> you had to tunnel down, i understand? >> it took two days of tunneling right into his lair. >> good lord. >> i'm going to be the head man and get over here. we're going to need some help. todd, if you'll get the other side, okay? by the way, johnny this is not a very safe snake. we are going to have to handle this rather carefully. >> you do that. >> we'll feed it out here. i wanna go down here. you come down with me. >> i cannot believe -- >> here we go. by the way, we're -- i'm very concerned not to stress this snake. we want to handle it very carefully. >> how much would this snake weigh? >> it's over 200 pounds. >> all right-- let's see if we can stretch him out. >> let's stretch him out, john. >> ed, you hold it on the tail. >> this is joe and john.
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>> down at the tail. wait a minute, we have got to get the loops out of it. [ laughter ] >> we have 20 feet 2 inches. >> somebody had to help on this end -- >> that's close enough! [ laughter ] >> let's try again. >> real quick. >> wait a second. [ laughter ] >> there you go. >> okay. that's it. >> you know when you had him out here, i had it at 20'2". i don't want to stress him more. >> it's over 20 feet. >> the reason we're handling the snake that way is we want
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see one this big. >> i've never seen a snake that large in my life. what does he eat? >> well, he has been -- >> how did he live under the house? >> he has been eating apparently raccoons. >> raccoons? >> raccoons. >> how often would a snake like this-- let's go on back. >> it's -- >> you got him? >> yes, sir. [ laughter ] >> this is -- you can help on this if you would like? >> no, thanks, jim. you guys are doing a marvelous job. [ laughter ] >> oh, good. okay. anyway -- >> the strength is incredible, obviously. >> it is-- it really is. >> guys thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] my god! we have to do this.
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[ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> well, we're all out of time. >> you did pretty good. because before the show, we were talking in your office, and you said it was about 238 pounds -- >> i was guessing. what was it-- 220? >> 220 he said. >> never seen a snake that size. jim has the other snake with him, we thought he put it down here. anyway, inventor walt neshert, he is having the cheese puffs now in the green room. [ applause ] [ music ]
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come and knock on our door we've been waitin' for you we've been waitin' for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his three's company, too come and dance on our floor come and dance on our floor take a step that is new take a step that is new we've a lovable space that needs your face three's company, too you'll see that life is a ball again laughter is callin' for you down at our rendezvous down at our rendezvous
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and now, ladies and gentlemen a hush falls over the whole of las vegas as diamond jack tripper the gambling fool decides whether or not to risk his entire fortune on the turn of a single card. hit me. and he's done it. ah, bust! hey, listen, speaking of busts
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in your cooking class? inga the swedish girl? she's swedish? oh, yeah. look out. i mean, even their sandwiches are topless. hurt me. huh? hit me. does she speak english? i don't know. the only word i ever heard her use was "no." jack, i'm disappointed in you. i mean, if you can't score with a swedish chick you might as well turn in your badge. i can't even get her to go out with me. i'll stay. you know, swedish girls are very polite. when they go out with a guy they usually like to round off the evening by saying thank you in the nicest possible way. ( loud inhale ) yeah, well, my life is all "please" and "no, thank you." you ought to wine and dine her. a beautiful fox like that is not going to say thank you for an egg mcmuffin and fries. twenty-one. well, an egg mcmuffin's all i can afford.
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hi. oh, jack, you shouldn't play cards with larry. he's a much better cheat than you are. i resent that remark. and since i am three dollars ahead i think i shall leave. uh, lar... huh? don't forget your marked cards. oh, thanks. i'll see you at the regal beagle later. oh, janet, janet, janet. it's been such a lousy morning. you're the only one i can turn to. jack, please, i have been dealing with maniac customers all morning. don't come to me for sympathy. i don't want sympathy, i want affection. well, uh... down, boy. you like me better than your boss, don't you? well, ye... get up here. yes, jack, i do but what does that have to do with anything? you gave up your whole saturday morning for him. what i'm after won't take that long. yes, it will.
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are you? oh, yes. good morning, you two. morning. hi, chrissy. you're going to be late for work. i have been to work, chrissy and come back. really? how time flies when you're asleep. well, i would gladly have traded places with you. you don't get a bonus when you're lying in bed. not when you lock the bedroom door. a bonus? you want to hear what my boss gave me for a bonus for working late every night this week and for coming in on saturday morning? two lousy tickets to a frank sinatra concert. well, you can't win them... he gave you what?! you've got be kidding! no. somebody gave them to him and he can't go so he gives them to me for a bonus. jack, they're for tomorrow night-- the front row. frank sinatra's no egg mcmuffin. any girl would say thank you for frank sinatra. well, not me, thank you. you're joking.
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besides, i've got to wash my hair tomorrow night. instead of frank sinatra? let him wash his own hair. tell you what i'm going to do. seeing as how it's such a shame to waste these tickets how about if i...? you and i could each have one. chrissy, i've got an even better idea. what? why don't i take both of them? wait. whoa, whoa. just one moment. now let me get this straight here... you would each like to have these tickets? yes! yes! ah, ah, ah... i would like to have a cup of coffee. coming up. my department, i believe. and i think that i would like a cookie with that coffee. i'll get that for you. keep your hands off my cookies. here you go, janet, dear. mm, well, thank you, jack, dear. could i do something for you? maybe i could make your bed? i already made it.
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uh, janet, how about if i put your poor little tired feet up for you? i could do that too. ( yells ) here you are, janet. there's your coffee just like you like it-- strong with one sugar. ( chuckles ) you expect me to stir it? i can do it! thank you. how thoughtless of me. there you go. thank you, jack. that's ne, huh? yeah. mm-mm. thank you, chrissy. ( southern accent ): my, my, this is going to be a wonderful day. ( squawking ) you're a pretty little boy, aren't you? you know what today is? today's the day you get some nice clean sand
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come on, come on, say it. stanley. stanley. ( imitates bird whistling ) what are you doing? i'm making a noise like a parakeet. it's the only way to get your attention. i'd sprout feathers if i could. he gets lonely this time of the year. he likes me to talk to him. yeah, well, what about me? i get lonely all year long. wish you'd talk to me the way you talk to that bird. well, okay. you're a pretty little boy, aren't you? oh, stanley. you know, i bet you don't even remember what tomorrow is. tomorrow? tomorrow's sunday.
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now think. it only happens once a year. once a year... ( gasps ) you don't mean... no, not that. oh, stanley, do i have to remind you every time an anniversary comes around? anniversary, anniversary. uh... v.j. day? stanley! wedding anniversary, wedding anniversary. of course. is it? i meant to tie a knot in something to remind me. i'd have given you a hand. by the way, janet what did you think about that fabulous dinner i cooked especially for you tonight? oh, well, it wasn't too bad, jack. maybe a little too much salt, though. too much salt? you don't know what you're... you're absolutely right.
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here, i'll get you another drink. thank you. hi. want a peanut? thank you, chrissy. janet, why don't you just give the sinatra tickets to me. i can scalp them for 50 bucks. scalp them? all right, all right look, i'll tell you the truth. usually, i don't like people knowing what a softhearted guy i am. but there is this little old lady who sells pencils down by the pier. only the other day she said to me... "young master," she said "my one remaining wish before i die is to see frank sinatra." and you'd give her the tickets? no, chrissy, he would sell them to her for 50 bucks. hard, janet, hard. keep your thieving mind off of those tickets, larry. i've invested a lot of crawling in them. excuse me, chrissy, i believe that's my seat. thank you. here's your beer, honey. it's all paid for.
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mind if i join you? not at all. sit down. chrissy, how about a game of darts? okay. don't forget your money. guess what i got in the shoebox? wait, don't tell me. is it bigger than a breadbox? it's a parakeet. i'm giving it to helen for our wedding anniversary tomorrow. you already got a parakeet. this is a hen. what i got at home is a... boy parakeet? right, right. since i'm giving helen a present anyway i might as well give him something, too. don't you think flowers or candy would be better? no. i thought i might try mating with her. mrs. roper should like that. anyway, the point is i want it to be a surprise for helen. oh, i'm sure it will be.
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oh, no, mr. roper... thanks a lot. you're a very sweet kid, janet. no, mr. roper... thank you. jack, i don't know anything about taking care of a parakeet. it's easy, janet. you put it in a cage, give it some food and water and a little sandpaper on the bottom. ooh, that sounds painful. don't worry about this. i'll take care of it for you. i'd do anything for you and your lovely brown eyes. you mean for lovely blue eyes. please let me have them. ( imitating dog whimpering ) jack! back behind the ear.
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come on, stanley, give me a hint. what color is it? yellow. yellow... like gold? kind of.
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it might... with a little encouragement. oh, stanley! now, i'm not going to say anymore. oh, you don't have to. mm-wha! oh, you sweet thing. i'm going to make you a nice hot cup of cocoa. ( doorbell ringing ) i'm even going to answer the door. hi, chrissy. hi. what can i do for you? well, i wanted mr. roper. there he is. help yourself. he's such a generous man. mr. roper, your wife seems so happy. yeah. she's not herself today. well, what do you want me for? oh, well, it's about thparakeet... shh, shh. i don't want her to hear it. she might get overly excited.
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for the bird. oh, no problem. no problem. oh, chrissy, i'm forgetting my manners. would you like a cup of cocoa? oh, no, thanks. i just came up here to get some food for the... food for themselves, upstairs. see, they ran short. good-bye. oh, wait a minute. birdseed? yeah. that's very good for you. it's got vitamins and proteins in there. i'm sure it's very good. oh, you bet it is. mmm, good. birdseed? mmm, delicious. delicious. ( chirping ) ( chirping ) ( laughing ) what... what do you think, jack? you think she needs anything? uh, i'll ask her. do you need anything? uh-huh. yeah. uh-huh. she says she wants
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chrissy... is that all birdseed? oh, no. it's half a roast chicken from mrs. roper. hey, wait, chrissy. what happened to the birdseed? mr. roper ate it. i'll see if i can find something for this in the kitchen. yeah. aren't you going to take her out of the box? what for? well, for some fresh air. the poor thing's been cooped up in there so long. that's a good idea. come here, you... ( angry chirping ) ow! it bit me. oh, she knows the hand of a groper when she feels it. come here. come here. that's... come here. yeah, yes. aw, you sweet little thing. let me see. let me see. see, i'm going to give you a lot of bread crumbs so you can grow up to be nice and fat like your friends janet and chrissy. bite him again. hi. hi. hi... there!
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some apple pie for dessert. oh, oh... mrs. roper... it's so nice of you to bring a pie. thank you. i baked it myself. oh, boy. of course, i know it won't be as good as yours, jack. oh, come on. i'm sure your pie will be just as goo-oo... are you all right? ( giggling ) is something wrong with him? uh, no. no. he, uh, is just laughing at a joke i told him before you came in. and he's just getting it? he's very slow. yeah. ( chirping ) what... what was that? oh, i'm just practicing my birdcalls. ( whistling ) here, bird. ( laughing ) ( laughing ) well... enjoy your pie.
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i think he's coming down with something. mmm, good pie. good-bye. ( chirping ) back in the box you go. boy, i sure am glad that we didn't spoil mrs. roper's surprise. yeah. that's a good bird imitation, jack. oh, no. ( knocking ) come in. good morning. oh! coffee, toast and the sunday paper just for you, janet. well, what about me? oh, good morning to you, too. one sugar, and i'm stirring it. see? yeah, i see.
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or butter and jam, or just jam, or plain or you could mix the butter and jam together. i'll do that for you. whatever your little heart desires. you don't fool me, jack. i know what you're after. yeah. well, so do i and i'll tell you, jack, you have really earned it so here you go. oh, janet, thank you. i don't ever know how... there's only one. yeah. i gave the other one to chrissy. coffee, toast and the sunday paper just for you. hello. hello. what about me? there's plenty left in the kitchen. thanks a lot, jack. just thank you very much. that is just like a man. a girl gives you what you want, you drop her like a hot potato. chrissy...? no. no, what?
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i want to keep it for myself. chrissy, do you love your country? well, of course i do. well, you see, there's this little swedish girl... how little? well, she's average little. a little more average in some places than others, but average. i see. no, you don't see, chrissy. i promised to take this sweet little swede to see sinatra. what's she going to think when i don't? don't interrupt. chrissy, to her, i am america. now, if i break my promise she's going to go back to sweden and say that americans are liars. in sweden, this sort of thing spreads fast. it's a very small country. next thing you know, they'll break off relations with us-- no more nobel prizes, no more operations... and all because you didn't give me your ticket. oh, my.
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for amber waves... oh, here. take it. chrissy, you are a great patriot. no. i just love a good lie when i hear one. ( snorts ) oh, frankie... i did it my way. i've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet a pawn and a king i've been up and down and over and out and i know one thing each time i find myself... hello, inga? jack. how would you like to go see frank sinatra tonight? of course with me. you would? fabulous!
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no, no. everything's just fine. i'll call you later. oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy... oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. what's the matter? oh, boy, oh, boy. janet, it was an accident. maybe it's all right. parakeets are supposed to be very strong. i don't hear any breathing. maybe it's holding its breath. why don't you open it and see? ( doorbell ringing ) you open it. you did it. would you...? gee, whiz. ( screams ) good morning. good morning. you got my parakeet? uh, we had... helen's coming up, and i want to give her her present in front of everybody. mr. roper, it's about your parakeet...
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what's wrong with my bird? well, uh... more or less everything. j... j... jack sat on it. what?! mr. roper, i'm really sorry. it was an accident. if i don't give helen a present i'll never hear the end of it. here i am. i'm ready for my surprise. helen, about your surprise... wait a second. shouldn't she close her eyes and put her hand out first? oh, yeah. jack's right. that's the way to do it. oh! two tickets to the frank sinatra concert! oh, they're like gold!
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i almost forgot about the parakeet. don't touch this box. why not? because it's... empty? of course it is. i couldn't leave the poor little thing in there all night. i let it loose to fly around in the bathroom. ( growling ) no, jack. jack, jack, jack, jack... ( growling ) ( yelling ) come and knock on our door
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we've been waiting for you we've been waiting for you where the kisses are hers and hers and his three's company, too. come and dance on our floor come and dance on our floor take a step that is new take a step that is new we've a lovable space that needs your face three's company, too. you'll see that life is a ball again laughter is calling for you down at our rendezvous down at our rendezvous
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do you remember what happened on my 35th birthday? wasn't that the day pearl harbor got bombed? close. it was the day you got bombed because i walked out on you. you did? 'course i did. i was gone for three hours. then i came back. that must have been why i got bombed. ( audience laughs ) ( balloon squeaks ) you know perfectly well that i left you, stanley roper and you know why i left you, too. it was that bleached blonde up in 307. what about her? you were always up in her apartment, inspecting her pipes. then why'd you come back? well, i figured you spent a lot of time in our apartment, too
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( audience laughs ) listen, why don't those kids give the party upstairs? because they want jack to be surprised. why don't you try and be nice to him? why should i be nice to him? well, i told you: they want jack to be surprised. ( laughter ) how's your cake coming? it's all finished. let me see, let me see. what do you think? great. look. "happy birthda"? where's the "y"? oh. ( laughter ) oh. and where's the "jack" as in "happy birthday, jack"? do you think we need it? i mean, after all, he knows it's his birthday and he knows his name is jack and we're not going to be singing "happy birthday, harry." that makes sense. chrissy, i just thought of something. how will we get jack to the roper's apartment?
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you see, when he comes in i'm going to say, "oh, we're out of orange juice" which we both know is his favorite drink. so he'll go down to the market where, surprise! mrs. roper will be waiting to take him to the regal beagle where, surprise! mr. roper will just happen to be waiting for a telephone call from me telling him to come right back with jack. surprise! chrissy, when jack comes in, why don't you just say "let's me and you go for a walk on the beach" then keep him there half an hour and come back. yeah, that might work, too. ( laughter ) aren't you going to put a border on this cake? oh, yeah. huh! ( laughter ) ( doorbell rings ) mmm, not bad! now put some on the cake. no! no! ( laughter ) oh, hi.
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who did you want? i was looking for a man. who isn't? ( laughter ) i thought jack tripper lived here. oh, yeah, he does. oh, well, in that case will you tell him susan walters is here? oh, well, um, i would but, see, he's not here right now. but we expect him back soon. oh, good. i'll wait. ( laughter ) are you the cleaning lady? ( laughter ) no. i live here. and, uh, this here is my roommate, chrissy snow. oh, hi. hello, i'm susan walters. oh, i'm janet wood. susan is a friend of jack's. let me get this straight. you're all roommates? yeah. we're just friends, that's all. we wouldn't want you to think there was anything more. why would i think that?
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well, susan, we should apologize. i mean, we don't usually walk around looking like this. oh, i never judge by appearances. after all, people can't help the way they look. ( laughter ) are you and jack good friends? yes, we are. how good? chrissy! we're very close. really? how close? ( yells ) i mean, uh that must have been very nice. yes, it is. funny, jack never mentioned you before. but then again he never talks about any of his affairs. ( laughter ) i mean, he never talks about any of his relations. ( laughter ) i mean... uh, susan, susan have you been seeing a lot of jack? not lately. uh, i've been doing a lot of flying. oh, yeah, i see, right. oh, sure, with him on the ground

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